i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
bring money and cleavage
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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