Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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