Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It's just like the Real World with babies
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
