I'm passing your future prison.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
