All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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