So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
