Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
