This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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