fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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