this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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