i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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