dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
