so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
