Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
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You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
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woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
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