Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
