he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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