Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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