How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
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she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
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Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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