Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
