My sheets look like a crime scene.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize