if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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