How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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