Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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