God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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