Walk of Shame. In a state park.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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