i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
should my penis look like a turkey
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
