i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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