Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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