I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
