I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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