haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
