Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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