so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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