I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize