Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
