saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
