I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
