Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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