i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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