I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
