Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
