kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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