What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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