And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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