I murdered the dance floor call the cops
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative