I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money