Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.