My friends, they love my intelligence
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
