Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
