Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize