I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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