What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
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We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
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ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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