Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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