i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize