just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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