Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
home. puking in laundry basket.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
