hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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