Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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