It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
