Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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