Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
