Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.