She said her name was "party"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
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at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
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Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.